I had to go to the bathroom before I fell asleep...and I fell asleep and started dreaming. My favorite original character, Eyvindr, a character I created myself, was very upset with me. He is canonically incontinent, and he said that he peed himself everyday, and that they were ignoring his whole part of being my angel, and he said he wanted to obtain his jacket, and tried to tie me up. He then tried to do some sort of blood ritual where he tried to buzzsaw my face, but I escaped. The whole rest of the dream I ran from him, as he chased me. At the end of the dream, everyone said it was in his eyes, that there was something wrong with him, and that they were going to "confront him". I felt like he tried to buzzsaw me because he wanted his jacket because he loved me, though... He's my favorite original character, and I see him as my son. I deeply wish for him to be closer to me, since I've been a kid... In the dream, I laughed at him for having a limp penis for 28 years, which made the buzzsaw get closer to me, but it was because I was mad at him for chasing me. I felt betrayed by Eyvindr when I woke up...but I forgave him, already. The dream was quite some time ago...
Dreams can often serve as a window into our subconscious, revealing our deepest fears, desires, and emotional conflicts. The dream you described featuring your original character, Eyvindr, is rich with symbolism and meaning. Here’s a detailed interpretation of your experience:
The Bathroom Need: The fact that you sought to use the bathroom before falling asleep may symbolize a need for emotional release or purification. It can also represent anxiety or a sense of urgency in your life—perhaps a desire to rid yourself of certain burdens or feelings that you may be holding onto.
Eyvindr as a Reflection of Yourself: Eyvindr, being your favorite character and a representation of your own creative expression, symbolizes a part of yourself that feels neglected or misunderstood. The dynamic of him being upset with you suggests a level of internal conflict; maybe you feel guilty for not giving enough attention to your creativity or the emotional side of your life.
Incontinence: His canonical incontinence could be a metaphor for feelings of vulnerability or frustration regarding self-control and personal expression. You may be wrestling with feelings of inadequacy or shame that you project onto him. His desire to confront his condition could reflect your own struggles with emotional transparency.
The Blood Ritual and Buzzsaw: The extreme and violent imagery of the blood ritual and the buzzsaw may point to feelings of betrayal or fear of being harmed by someone or something you care deeply about. It can also suggest a desire to sever harmful connections or patterns in your life—perhaps those related to creativity, relationships, or insecurities.
Running Away and Confrontation: Your attempt to escape and the eventual sentiments of others wanting to confront Eyvindr represent the struggle between avoiding confrontation with your feelings and the inevitable need to face them. This dynamic creates a tension, emphasizing the urgency to address the unresolved issues related to your identity and creativity.
Betrayal and Forgiveness: The mixed feelings of betrayal and forgiveness towards Eyvindr indicate a complex relationship with this character (and, symbolically, with parts of yourself). The dream reflects an internal dialogue about disappointment, acceptance, and the continuous journey of working through emotionally charged issues. Ultimately, your ability to forgive him signifies a willingness to reconcile these feelings—acknowledging the hurt while striving for a deeper connection.
Strong Emotions: Laughing at Eyvindr about something so deeply personal as his incontinence may reveal pent-up frustration or anger you've directed at yourself. This could be a sign that you are grappling with fear of judgment or inadequacies in your life, which manifests in how you relate to your creations.
Desire for Connection: Your yearning for closeness with Eyvindr signifies a deep-rooted need for connection and affirmation. The dream shows the conflict between this desire and the fear of vulnerability that comes from exposing your sensitivities, embodied in your character.
This dream weaves together themes of neglect, vulnerability, fear, and affections as they relate to your creative outlet and deeper self. The issues you grappling with regarding Eyvindr are likely an allegory for your own emotional journey. The blend of horror and affection emphasizes the complexity of your feelings, pointing to the necessity of facing your internal conflicts and allowing for healing.
Consider reflecting on how Eyvindr's journey parallels your own. By addressing your feelings about him and the deeper emotional resonances they evoke, you may find that you are not only deepening your understanding of your character but also nurturing important aspects of your identity and creativity.